I have been a very confident parent. I can think of maybe one or two times when I was unsure of myself... For me, becoming a mother was a very natural thing and it has continued to be. I know there are plenty of parents who feel this way and plenty who don't. It's something different for everyone.
Recently, though my confidence was challenged by one of my kids. A problem was brought to us, a really really big problem and instead of reaching into the pools of "confidence" I told you about I just felt unsure of myself and worried about my kid. All of the sudden we sat together in a tear soaked storm and I wasn't sure what to do. I knew what message I needed to communicate, I knew there should be a punishment, I knew there was a potentially life changing issue at the heart of the behavior. I knew all of those things and yet all I felt compelled to do was sit down and cry as well... Luckily God gives us a partner. Brandon had all of the right words, all of the best metaphors and messages. He knew exactly what this kid needed to hear.
I'm confident now, in the way that particular situation was handled. I'm confident that there was excellent communication and understanding. I'm confident that we were able to use it as an opportunity to show love as well as discipline. But my initial reaction really got me thinking...
When you first see the two pink lines on a pregnancy test your mind races with thoughts of babies and sweet smelling toes and tiny clothes. What doesn't even enter your thought process are the turbulent, terrifying, life changing, absolutely fulfilling moments that you will have with this person, who actually is only small for a moment.
We aren't raising babies, we aren't raising kids, not even teenagers... We're raising people. And it's seeming more and more that although their bodies may be small the limits of their minds and hearts are not. I hold such hope for my kids, like every other parent in the world does. So when a moment comes when they seem like less than we know them to be, how do we respond? When they are lost and utterly confused by something they heard or saw what do we tell them? When they make the wrong decision, or start down the wrong path, how do we trust them with all of that hope we've been pouring into them since the second those pink lines popped up?
My Dad is adopted. Hearing my grandparents talk about him when he's not around is one of the greatest things I've ever experienced. My grandmother remembers the blue shawl that was given as a gift from Macy's and which she used to wrap him in on the way home from the hospital when he was three days old. My grandfather remembers calling her to say that their baby was ready for them... They had a child. Those moments are treasures to them and it's incredible that fifty years later they speak about them with such love and tenderness as if they happened yesterday. That's how we care for our kids... They go on to talk about how they were sure he was going to grow up and be the president. He was just so smart, so amazing... Really he was just loved... Purely and honestly and without hesitation.
I don't have the answers and I'm sure as with all things we will all come to our own conclusions but for now my answer will be that honest and pure love that my grandparents gave to my own Dad so many years ago and so many years since...
XOXO
Miranda
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