Our Spring Break came to an end yesterday morning... Jude and Jaden went to spend a couple days with their grandparents who will take them back to their mom. It never gets easier, whether we’re together a week or the whole summer it’s always so hard for us to say goodbye for now... when they were smaller our visits ended in such bittersweet emotions. Sad to leave, happy to go back... You could see that they always felt so torn. It’s a feeling I remember distinctly. My own adolescence looked a lot like this... it’s impossible for kids to carry the burdens their parents carry. It shouldn’t be expected, but when it comes to blended families everyone has an opinion and they love to share it. There is so much shame attached to this and criticism comes from places you’d never expect but grace reaches far and reconciles all the hurt.
Now that they’re older they both have very decisive feelings about their lives and relationships... it’s been incredible to watch them grow and to care for them. It’s been such a lesson to me... there is redemptive love right in the middle of brokenness and it comes in the form of the children left behind... you won’t meet a more forgiving girl than Jaden and there’s no way you’ll find a big brother as loving as Jude.
Their stories have brought so much healing to my own... when I see them struggling with the circumstances we’re in, I see myself all those years ago when I was the child with the broken family... There is so much baggage that comes with divorce, so much that we inherit before we even understand what is happening. I am always so surprised God placed me here, equipped with the experience these kids would need, the understanding and a well of sympathy and encouragement. My family growing up and my family today are proof that we can’t really mess up his plans, he’ll only readjust and find a way to love you more when you mess up... what peace that brings. It is still so bittersweet but I love to see God working in our lives, making us useful to the people around us... making our stories ones of victory.
Well be together again in a few months and we’re already counting down the days! Jaden left the sweetest gift next to the coffee pot for us this morning. She is so artistic! The house feels half empty and I’m back to cooking for four... but we’ll be a big noisy circus again in no time!
XOXO
Miranda
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