What I'll Do Differently...

This pregnancy is barely under way and it is already vastly different than my first. My first was planned and agonized over (in the waiting time between the decision to have a baby and the confirmation that we were going to have one!) 

This pregnancy was completely unplanned which has been a mix of emotions already. I had always planned for Gemma to be the only baby I had because of my older step kids. Babies are expensive y'all and I've thought plenty about that in these last weeks but they are also one of the greatest parts of life. I am stressed and worried about how all of the kids will handle an unplanned arrival but I am also so excited for this pleasant surprise.

Here are a few things I will do differently this time around!

1. I Will Not Over Share on A Personal Platform

I wasn't aware of how judge-y people can be about pregnancy/child birth. I didn't realize that most people will happily assume that their opinions about your body/baby/birth/choices matter just as much as yours do. It's truly odd. I wonder how this is even still an issue but I had my feelings hurt plenty of times with Gemma. This time I will not share every detail and in doing so I will protect my over-emotional olive (by the gallon) eating self from unnecessary tears.

2. I Will Buy Comfy Clothes

for myself... I was a real stickler the first time. I hardly ever let myself eat what I wanted and I was so health conscious. I won't be overly conscious about my body and the way I feel/look in what I'm wearing. As Brandon regularly reminded me I'm growing a human. So I'll be nicer to myself. I won't force pre-pregnancy jeans with a rubber band way further than I should. I won't try so hard to keep it together that I make myself miserable. This IS my last pregnancy and I plan to enjoy every moment even if I do have my head in a toilet.

3. I Will Do My Research

I am notoriously cheap. When we went to babies'r'us to register Brandon would scan things and I would go right behind him and take them off the registry! A wipe warmer!? That is a gross extravagance! He hated it and laughed at me forever. We ended up getting a wipe warmer and it was AWESOME. It made midnight diaper changes bearable, for real. It's something different for everyone. I was so concerned with getting the best deals and saving as much as possible that in some ways we ended up buying complete junk. Instead of just reading a few amazon reviews... not super smart.

4. I Will Try Not To Obsess

about complications, blood pressure, weight gain, fetal development, prenatal vitamins, ultrasounds...  I will let God do what he does and form this sweet baby. I'll also try to be patient while he's doing it.

5. I Will Not Make Excuses

I don't really think I was too bad during my first pregnancy but I was definitely irrational at times. Lots of women will say that if there is ever a time in life to be discontent and hard-to-please now is that time. I won't let my pregnancy be an excuse for surliness. When I was about five months along with Gemma I wanted lemon anything and everything. Brandon drove to the store at like 1 AM and came back with every lemon popsicle they sold. I was a popsicle eating fool for weeks! How lucky am I to be married to someone like that? How lucky is this kid to have a dad like that!? So freakin' lucky. I won't be taking any of that for granted...

There are also a few things I will do just the same as I did with Gemma...

I will continue to write letters to Gemma and the new baby regularly 

I will give breastfeeding everything I've got

I will pick up this baby almost every time he/she cries

I will struggle with being good enough

I will be so incredibly grateful for a blessing like this....

XOXO

Miranda