2 Sisters + 1 Momma

I never imagined I'd have a daughter,  so I really never imagined I'd have two. I swear to you they are already two of the coolest chicks I'll ever know. Gemma is hilarious and her personality is astonishingly outgoing. The other day I told her to say something loudly. She said "No, Mom. I'm going to say it hushly." She truly marches to the beat of her own drum and I can't wait to see where that takes her... Rue, of course is not even two months old yet but already sharing bits of her sweet personaility. Lately she takes twice as long to nurse because she stops every few minutes to smile at me. There is nothing in the world like that...  

 

Gemma loves Rue a lot more than I thought she would (and that's even accounting for her occasional indifference to her). And Rue doesn't even mind being poked in the eye or covered in chapstick... They're pretty easy together and I'm kind of shocked by it. We're exiting the newborn stage and getting into a groove I guess! 

Don't get me wrong though, there are still moments when I am utterly at a loss, feeling totally lost in my life and my responsibilities and not really sure how I got here or how to keep going. Though these moments usually come at the end of the day and the end of my patience... after they're both asleep I'm reminded of the effort it took to get them here and the fact that I was chosen for these particular blessings. With a few cups of coffee and a few deep breaths I find my way back into the groove and those are our days lately.

This time comes and goes so incredibly fast. So many times older ladies will stop to look at my girls and they always have this look on their faces and it took me a while to realize, but it always seems like they are remembering and missing their own babies; who of course grew up way too fast. Usually they say, enjoy them. Sometimes they say you're so blessed and all I can do is nod my head. I know that'll be me one day, I know the details that take up so much of my mental space today will one day be a distant memory that I will ache for. When you know that you do everything differently or at least try to... I heard someone say once that you should live your life backwards. You should live your life as if you're looking back on it from the end and focus on the things that will be important to you then. I try today and every day to do just that.

XOXO

Miranda