If you're like me, you've struggled to step out of your comfort zone. So you pack up all of it's components and carry them around in a heavy suitcase... until finally you've grown enough that when you look down you think why was I carrying this again?
It's my version of old bunny. Gemma's carried around this one eared bunny for years because it comforts her. It's a buffer between her and a world she's not ready to interact with. Her's is the healthy version. Mine's not. Gemma's version transitions her, mine holds me back.
I see so much of God in that.
It's my version of old bunny. Gemma's carried around this one eared bunny for years because it comforts her. It's a buffer between her and a world she's not ready to interact with. Her's is the healthy version. Mine's not. Gemma's version transitions her, mine holds me back.
I see so much of God in that.
God transitions me, he soothes me and when the world I'm not ready to confront terrifies me, He's there for me to hold on to. A familiar thing that comforts and reassures me but also pushes me to get up and press on again...
You see, you need that object of comfort because growing hurts. Literally. Some growth doesn't happen until you get so angry, disappointed, fed up with where you're at that you look yourself in the face and make a dare into the darkness and step into some big unknown.
Some of us are optimists and enter this time with a smile, relieved that at the very least we've made a decision. But others of us, like me, are not so optimistic. We carry fear and stubbornness right into that darkness and I'm sure God grins and shakes His head and kind of says okay, at least you're walking... I can work with that.
Some of us are optimists and enter this time with a smile, relieved that at the very least we've made a decision. But others of us, like me, are not so optimistic. We carry fear and stubbornness right into that darkness and I'm sure God grins and shakes His head and kind of says okay, at least you're walking... I can work with that.
I call this the The Cutting Season. Some seasons of life we grow and flourish and it's a joyful time. But in a cutting season whatever growth you come by is painful. Here's how it happened for me.
I felt such a hunger for the things of God in my heart, such a desire to take as many steps closer to him as I could but that old suitcase that I've carried around all my life... I couldn't carry into the next place, the higher place, the closer to his feet place. It was full of things like unforgiveness, anger, regret, insecurity... but the thing taking up the most space inside was pride.
So in a moment of desperation God sat me down and he opened that suitcase right in front of me and gave me a choice... Unpack it, move on and choose Him as my comforter or sit right there and live in the mess that I'd made.
You know what I did? For a little while I chose my messy comfort zone because as awful as it was, it was familiar and safe. It didn't ask me to sing, write, share, testify, witness, worship or forgive... It let me be the same old Miranda I'd always been... complacent, yes... but also safe.
But the beautiful thing about God is that He loves you a lot and He's not nearly as attached to your issues as you are... He looked at me, mess and all and what He saw was desperation in my heart for Him and the work of His kingdom.
The cutting began when He grabbed my hand and pulled me in the direction of my dreams... See, I couldn't take pride with me, there wasn't time or room... I couldn't take unforgiveness or regret... I couldn't even take the thing that kept me most safe and most ineffective, my insecurity.
I looked just liked Gemma does when we walk into a new place or she's standing in the middle of a new experience and old bunny is at home... I looked lost and felt it too.
Here I learned that the side effects of growth are loneliness, frustration, hopelessness, burn out... Here I was, at my transition needing that familiar thing that I'd left behind. As often as I was tempted to turn back and abandon this new course of action that's just how often God showed up with a nudge of encouragement, to refill me and sustain me... to be a balm for the hard lessons I'd learned.
It's called The Cutting Season because I had a cosmic surgery. God looked at me and my hungry heart and said okay, daughter... you've got the dream. But your condition is inherently incapable of pursuing it. You'll need a new heart, a new mind, a new body... and that means cutting out the old things.
And as much as it hurt me I'm sure it hurt Him more. On this side of the journey, with a renewed heart and mind I can tell you it will definitely be worth it but it won't be easy... and that's how you know you're on the right track.
XOXO
Miranda
Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day. For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal.
2 Corinthians 4:16-18
You know what I did? For a little while I chose my messy comfort zone because as awful as it was, it was familiar and safe. It didn't ask me to sing, write, share, testify, witness, worship or forgive... It let me be the same old Miranda I'd always been... complacent, yes... but also safe.
But the beautiful thing about God is that He loves you a lot and He's not nearly as attached to your issues as you are... He looked at me, mess and all and what He saw was desperation in my heart for Him and the work of His kingdom.
The cutting began when He grabbed my hand and pulled me in the direction of my dreams... See, I couldn't take pride with me, there wasn't time or room... I couldn't take unforgiveness or regret... I couldn't even take the thing that kept me most safe and most ineffective, my insecurity.
I looked just liked Gemma does when we walk into a new place or she's standing in the middle of a new experience and old bunny is at home... I looked lost and felt it too.
Here I learned that the side effects of growth are loneliness, frustration, hopelessness, burn out... Here I was, at my transition needing that familiar thing that I'd left behind. As often as I was tempted to turn back and abandon this new course of action that's just how often God showed up with a nudge of encouragement, to refill me and sustain me... to be a balm for the hard lessons I'd learned.
It's called The Cutting Season because I had a cosmic surgery. God looked at me and my hungry heart and said okay, daughter... you've got the dream. But your condition is inherently incapable of pursuing it. You'll need a new heart, a new mind, a new body... and that means cutting out the old things.
And as much as it hurt me I'm sure it hurt Him more. On this side of the journey, with a renewed heart and mind I can tell you it will definitely be worth it but it won't be easy... and that's how you know you're on the right track.
XOXO
Miranda
Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day. For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal.
2 Corinthians 4:16-18
"being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ;"
Philippians 1:6
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