Auld Lang Syne

Endings are hard. The bittersweet uneasiness that settles in your stomach when it's time to say goodbye... It's hard. Our lives are ever changing, growing, mutating into hopes and dreams, fears... That is the essence of life, and maybe for some that's the point of life. The endings are inevitable. Sometimes we hang our hats on the endings and sometimes we ignore them when they arrive at our doorstep. Some of us embrace them and immeasurably more of us dread them. Still, they come. We build our lives with things like marriages, babies, homes and holidays... That's how we assess our value. 

This year has been difficult for my family, difficult for many families, and we aren't sad to see it go but we will miss what it takes away with it... Another Christmas without two of our kids, the loss of a friendship greatly valued, time misused... We are irreversibly changed and melancholy for it. But it has made us valuable to one another. Every persons life has highs and lows and I'm not foolish enough to think that I'd be immune from the lows because I understand that without them the highs wouldn't be nearly as high. The light wouldn't be nearly as beautiful and I'd have no value... 

It's a common thing amongst blog writers to assign a word to the upcoming year in hopes that it will be what you want it to be. I didn't assign a word in January but I have now. My word for 2015 is Courage. I went back and forth on this a lot... On my list there were words like integrity, perseverance, faith, patience... But none of them quite covered it. This year I've had to employ more courage than ever before in my life. I have been defeated, disappointed, angry... And

In light of those things I somehow managed to be optimistic, happy, courageous... as this year comes to an end I feel compelled to look back on the things that have given me value and share my thankfulness. 

I was pretty gutsy this year. I am not an overly confident person so it was a huge leap of faith to share this blog with all of you. I tend towards a more private life so it's been challenging to share but the ever steady process of setting and meeting goals helped me do it. I know a lot of people start thinking about resolutions around this time and I try with all of my might to avoid that but if I did have one it would be to set more goals... In every facet of my life.

If I could choose what 2016 will bring I would choose peace... I would welcome a lull in our lives. Peace would be my word for 2016 and even though I know just how much of life is out of my control I will hope for peace and work towards stillness. Especially for the sake of my incredible husband who spent this year holding our lives together while the oil and gas industry fell apart. 

In the coming year, I hope for more of what I was given this year. More sleepy toddler kisses, more dinners with my husband, more time with my children, more memory making, song singing, cookie baking time... Together. And also the birth of a brand new baby, as if we weren't blessed enough!

The realization that all of those things are finite makes them much sweeter, makes them much more valuable and this is the time of year for that reminder.

I hope your Thanksgiving & Christmas were filled with love and cheer. Your support, the very fact that you read these crazy things I write means the entire world to me. I am grateful for each and every one of you and I wish you nothing but happiness and hope in the New Year.


XOXO
Miranda