When Your Husband Works Away...

Brandon has traveled for work for almost our entire relationship. It has always been a challenge for us. Before we had Gemma it was hard because we actually really do like each other. He's my best friend so its never been ideal to spend half of our time apart. We've always made it work though and I think we've done it successfully. When Gemma was born we were lucky that he could choose to have a bit of a long commute instead of spending days away at a time. That was really exhausting for him though... Then when we moved to Texas he was able to work from home and work locally. Then a job change, then the lay offs, then another job change... We're back to being apart. Having to do this as a couple with no children is extremely challenging. Having to do it with small kids is something else entirely. 

There are lots of lonely days for Gemma and I. There are so many times that she wants him and there's just nothing I can do to console her. It's hard on the heart! I explain regularly that he goes away to work so we can have a good home and plenty of food and a car to drive... She understands so well and is so patient and tells people regularly that her "Papa isn't here. He's at work so we can buy lip gloss."

Here are some of our best survival tips!

1. Don't Stop Making Memories

I try to keep us busy and find fun things to do with Gemma even though Brandon can't be there for them. Most Dad's work during the day anyways so this isn't a new thing. Yesterday we went to the Children's Museum and had picnic at the park, small and simple but it keeps her from focusing on the fact that he isn't here.

 

2. Travel To Him If You Can

We are lucky that Brandon is in a situation where he stays at the same place every time he goes to work. No hotels. It makes it much easier on Gemma and I to travel to the same place every time we go to see him. We usually only spend a few days but it breaks up the time apart and helps Gemma maintain a close bond with him. It's also so worth it to drive a few hours (especially at night, while she sleeps!) to be with him.

3. Phone Call/FaceTime for Dad & The Kids Every Night

We call Brandon every night before bed. Sometimes he isn't able to talk so we leave a voicemail but I make sure that every one of her days without him here ends at least talking to him and thinking about him. She usually says silly things to make him laugh and they talk about nothing mostly but it really works for her. I also try to send pictures or videos as often as possible. He is naturally a very hands on parent so it's really hard on him to miss the small everyday things... Like this...

4. Save The Best Things for When He's Home

I try to make any special plans on a day that I know Brandon will be home. He had to make a special trip for our Gender Ultrasound and he still hasn't met my ob. This is one of the hardest parts for me. We have to be really selective when making plans because we get half as many days together. 

5. Stay Positive

Most women really want to be with an ambitious man. Totally understandable. A lot of women have a problem with what that means though... It means he'll be exhausted when he does finally get home, it means he'll probably miss some holidays, it means he won't be available 24/7. That's hard to live with for some people. I am so thankful for a good man and a good father for our kids. So many parents aren't willing to sacrifice for their kids... Spending time away from home so that we are taken care of is a big sacrifice. It helps to remind myself of that regularly and be positive about where our life is headed. We are so incredibly blessed for the time that we have together.

XOXO

Miranda